Joke of the Day
Mrs. Smith’s elderly husband doesn’t feel well so she takes him to the dr. Mr. Smith leaves her in the waiting room for a while. Finally the Dr. comes and says, “Mrs. Smith I’m sorry to tell you that your husband is going to die.” Mrs. Smith says, “Dr. is there anything I can do?” [...]
Joke of the Day
An elderly couple is sitting in church and they’re singing with the congregation. The song ends and the congregation sits down. The old woman writes something on a piece of paper and hands it to her husband. The note reads: “I just let a silent fart. What should I do?”
The husband writes a response on [...]
Joke of the Day
Why did Dorothy get lost in Oz?
She had three men giving her directions.
Joke of the Day is courtesy of aJokeADay.com.
Joke of the Day
Three vampires walk into a bar. The bartender looks at them suspiciously, but decides to serve them anyway. “What’ll be, boys?”
The first vampire says “Blood. Give me blood.”
The second vampire says “I too wish for blood!”
The third vampire says “Give me plasma.”
The Bartender smiles and says “Got it. Two bloods, and a blood-light.”
Joke is courtesy [...]
Joke of the Day
A passenger in a taxi leaned over to ask the driver a question and tapped him on the shoulder. The driver screamed, lost control of the cab, nearly hit a bus, drove up over the curb, and stopped just inches from a large plate glass window.
For a few moments everything was silent in the cab, [...]
Joke of the Day
A man who was just married was flying to the Florida Keys for a business trip. His new bride was to accompany him the next day. When he got there he E-mailed his wife to let her know he made it there safely. When he sent the E-mail he miss-typed the address. In Boston, a [...]
Joke of the Day
A lady was walking down the street to work and she saw a parrot on a perch in front of a pet store.
The parrot said to her, “Hey lady, you are really ugly.” Well, the lady is furious!
She stormed past the store to her work.
On the way home she saw the same parrot and it [...]
Joke of the Day
MAN:
1) Pull up to machine
2) Wind window down
3) Insert ATM card, enter PIN
4) Retrieve cash
5) Drive away
WOMAN:
1) Pull up to machine
2) Open door (too far away from machine)
3) Search through all of the 112 compartments in handbag for ATM card
4) Do make up, apply lipstick, fix hair
5) Insert Card
6) Remove card
7) Insert card the correct [...]
Joke of the Day
Through the pitch-black night, the captain sees a light dead ahead on a collision course with his ship. He sends a signal: “Change your course 10 degree east.”
The light signals back: “Change yours, 10 degrees west.”
Angry, the captain sends: “I’m a navy captain! Change your course, sir!”
“I’m a seaman, second class,” comes the reply. “Change [...]
Joke of the Day
A young child walked up to her mother and stared at her hair. As mother scrubbed on the dishes, the girl cleared her throat and sweetly asked; “Why do you have some grey strands in your hair?”
The mother paused and looked at her daughter. “Every time you disobey, I get one strand of grey hair. [...]
